Reminiscence

Its been 6 weeks,

My 13 day trip to Europe certainly came in handy and i enjoyed it. Disappearing to a new place to explore, to try out so many new things was certainly the best way to get distracted. I ate alot, shopped alot, took a zillion photos and made new frens. I learnt many new things and gained a chunk of history.. and the scenery was breath taking, be it the architecture or the natural surroundings. i grew closer to mummy too.. since it was a mom-daughter trip x)

wen i came back i knew it was only the start... of forgetting..

I really threw myself into dance.Since i came back from my trip, i have been dancing everyday even if it meant only one hour.. its the only time i forget everything.. and i look forward to this lapses in time. Dance makes me, hungry so i will eat, and exhausted so i can sleep without tossing and turning.

Entered my 1st dance comp with tara. participating in my first hiphop recital. =) and wen I got selected for the first time in allegra's class =)

Hopefully the recital for danzppl go well on fri!! and i get through to the semifinals!

you confuse me so much. i'm stuck.

Gone

It has officially ended.

I have tried my best to change but

in your eyes and action i can see you're tired.

I don't want to drag on and continue hurting both of us.

Even if it meant taking all the courage i have left to ask...

There is no regrets and i will never blame you.

and in this same wee hours of the morning, godma left.

i'm only thankful i got to see her jux the week before or i would have been filled with regrets. Now i only hope she is happy where ever she is.

My heart is in pieces,

Losing 2 impt ppl in my life whom i have depended on the same night..

this feeling of pain is indescribable.

My pillow is soaked..

i'm telling myself to be strong.

i dunno how to trust and i dunno what to do.

poly graduation

Been MIA for at least a month but cos i have been supeerrr busy with examss....

Had my 20th birthday too...

simple affair cos too busy.. but it was meaningful...

I had baby to accompany me the whole aftnoon though he was having exams the next day..

and he treated me to sushi buffet x) thanks baby !

had HOUSE lesson...

den dinner at hard rock with nic, david, whale, alia and ellery...

imma grow fat!! hahaha =)

BUT

I HVE FINALLY GRADUATED FROM POLY =)

ytd was my last paper i did.. so fast 3 years have passed.. really gonna miss my classmates..had so much fun and memories chionging projects, helping each other with exams.. and just being there for each other..

So to mark the wonderful day.. i went to club at for the first time in my 20 years of living... yuting, eliz, xy, cham, ellery, hng, ks, jon emptied a vodka bottle before gg into butterfac.. and guess wad happened.. the floor was too packed to dance.. so me, ks, ended up like snoozing on the sofa.. epic phail!! elley and cham was beside us playing and drinking,. while xy and eliz totally disappeared on the dancefloor.. dun understand how come ppl like to squeeze...

gotto say good things about guys is that they dunnid queue for toilet... can just go pee and puke.. i left the club bout 2 to take a breather seeing the marina bay sands.... and ended up puking 4 rounds.. =.= great to know i had a good buddy like ks to be on the same boat as me.. hahah x) so ended up cabbing home early... ks left first.. me in the next 15 min... head seriously aching like crazy.. the others had to hunt for dear xy.... LOL...

didn't have hangover.. luckily... now spending quality time with ally arresting my bed for her own.....

gg to butterfac reminded me of our first date... and i dunno why i feel the changes even stronger now.. but i do know.. i.still.love.you

FYP

Finally sat down and had a serious talk with ♥

never expected to reach a crossroad so fast.. but we accepted our differences.. and though its certainly gg to be difficult cos its different already. certainly hoping this arrangement would work out.. It doesn't mean we love each other less just that...... we'll let time tell..

Finally finished FYP presentation also.. didn't sleep and eat for 24 hours.. just to rush the damn project out.. but its finally OVEERR =) really proud of my group..

now only hoping BB woud be completed soon =)

and the smell of 2march is drawing closerrrrrrrrrrrr.............FREEDOM!

lost

what you did really hurt me like crazy.. nv expect you to pull such a stunt on me. i wanna settle this but am so afraid of the outcome cos you've slowly became a part of my life.

lord, tell me what to do!

who am i?

maybe someone should come out with a new guidebook'. i never really noticed wad i did wrong till now cos i thought it was right to want to spend any free time with you.. didn't want to let you feel alone or neglected...so never expected it to slap me back in the face. serve me right i guess but one's supposed to have their own personal space. i dun even know how the hell i ended up in this mess. sometimes i feel i just fall into this shit voluntarily cos every step i take i try not to go back with the same mistake. and i dunno why after i heard that sentence, that feeling of insecurity has come back.

i'm trying to find back the girl i set out to be 5 months ago. was half way to accomplishment wen i stopped. at times i also dunno who i really am. but wen i do find her back, i dunno what will be left of the real me cos as days pass by, its proven the made-out me seems better. at least i won't have sleepless nights and depleting tissue paper like its free.

what to do?

Exams and projects really drained me to the max.. lost my voice for a week and only fully recovered aft 2 weeks =.=. at least one paper down and a few assignments presented.. still have more to come.. urhg!! gonna try enjoy my cny thought =)

Feeling tired today!

Godma was hospitalized.. feelin so guilty for not having visited her in the months dat bestie wasn't in singapore.. so many things have happened.. seeing her lie there i really felt like crying. Its my first time seeing her so weak so scared. I can no longer see the brave strong her who taught me to reach for what i want wen i first knew her at 16. She felt she was a burden and her biggest worry is her family. It really made me think twice and appreciate my love ones wen dey are still around me. Inside me, i really wish she can recover but according to the doctors...... its bleak =(

Just wanted to pput all this unhappiness behind me so went for waacking. body and soul wasn't at its optimum. freestyle went really bad for me.. but i did feel better! dance can work wonders.. den went to celebrate weiling birthday!

She got a big shock seeing like one whole stretch of table there with all her close frenss.. lol.. food was the best and wen i thought everything cld be alright again, there came all this misunderstanding.. just because of a careless decision of not taking care of my own belongings.... realli tired.. and i can't sleep knowing you're unhappy.. really dunno wad to do now.. FML.