betrayed

As for u, i hve a feelin u won't be even reading this but i need say what i really feel. :

I still treasure this friendship no matter what, but I'm really sad and disappointed on what i have found out. u said u were a bastard and i seriously wanna jux hate u. i feel so betrayed. i warned u b4 i hate being used. u said u didn't use me.. care to give me a reason?.. can i now ask what was the difference between u and the rest? forget it.. i'm getting used to this. i'm nthg but a freakin cheap and worthless bitch who spends too much time making the same old mistake over and over again..i wished i wasn't so stupid. i wish we cld have stated it clearly and drew the line. it wasn't totally your fault. i went into it thinking differently.. assuming things that i shdn't have since its your mind. i'm trying to make excuses for u.. i'm trying to tink positive but its hard.

But on another side, i'm thankful for you moulding me into someone different frm my old personality. u are the one who noes me best. If only we hadn't made that stupid mistake, i wldn't feel so damn hurt like now.. and it hurts too wen u lie. u usually tell me evrything.. and how does it feel wen i finally get to know it due to a slip of the tongue and cos the rest knew bout it first? and being you, this may not be insignificant but it does to me. have u even think? wen was the last time we went out only together by ourselves to shop or to catch a movie?

i didn't slp for those 4 hrs cos i had been thinking. Spilled water can never be poured back. and neither does crying over it helps.. my status have changed cos i need to get over this. and it seemed the best way to do it. i'm sry..i'm still your bestfren though and i'll always be there if u need my help. i believe our friendship is strong enuf to hold on.. i only ask for patience during this period of time